October 19, 2018 by kruckr
The summer has come and gone, and my belly (and baby) has grown bigger and bigger. We have been blessed to have a low-drama pregnancy this time around, however, this one feels like it’s been the most exhausting thus far.
I began teaching Advanced Lit this year and leaping over the learning curve for that course, as well as pulling double-duty to get ahead and write maternity plans, whilst battling baby brain has been ALMOST more than I could handle. Though, I’m happy to say that today, on my last day of work before beginning maternity leave, all is well. Every item is checked off my to-do list and I can go into these next few months with a peaceful heart.
On the homefront, I have worked slowly, but purposefully at transforming Henry’s old room into Ella’s new room. We have decided to go with a mermaid theme, as it ties closely with the nautical theme and therefore the mural on the wall that we didn’t want to paint over. I let Ella go in there with me a few times a week and she seems really excited by the space, but I’m not sure if she completely realizes that it’s hers yet. I’m hoping she makes the transition from baby to big girl bed well.
Transforming this room has been both cathartic and heart wrenching. We are blessed to have an in-home office, so I was able to carry the nautical decorations into that room and make a place for all of Henry’s things. I think this helped with the transformation because I didn’t feel like I was “getting rid” of anything, just finding a new home for all of the memories we want to cherish. At the same time, going through his clothes and old toys brought back a flood of memories – all good, but it’s hard to remember the past without lamenting in the present.
I am very much looking forward to the end of this pregnancy. I’ve never been one of those glowing mothers who relishes in the feeling of pregnancy, and this one has been the most physically uncomfortable thus far. I’ve dealt with intermittent sciatica since my first pregnancy that has gotten worse with each pregnancy that has followed. Additionally, I’m dealing with random shooting pain down my leg, hip, lower back and groin pain. Carrying a human is no joke! I respect the process, but I’m so ready for it to be over.
I think my complaining has distracted me somewhat from the end goal – meeting this little guy. I felt such a deep connection with Henry when I was carrying him, but I don’t know if that was first baby syndrome or just part of who Henry was. I can’t honestly say I feel the same connection now, but I don’t remember feeling it as strongly when I was carrying Ella either. Now, I am absolutely crazy about that kid. She’s such an amazing little human and along with meeting baby boy myself, I can wait to see what kind of big sister she’s going to become.
Ella certainly has a pretty solid stubborn streak, but she can also be really helpful. She loves being included in tasks like, throwing things away in the garbage, feeding Charlie, dusting and (sometimes) cleaning up her toys. A little while ago, she was given a very realistic baby doll and she’s been tending to it every since. She gives it the bottle and tries to feed it vegetables from her play kitchen. This weekend, we set up the mamaroo in anticipation of baby’s arrival and she immediately went and got her baby and put it in the mamaroo. It’s crazy to see how thoughtful a two-year-old can be!
I am somewhat surprised that we haven’t met baby boy already. I had an OB appointment last Friday and the doctor informed me that I was 4cm dilated and 60% effaced. We went ahead and scheduled a 39-week induction (the earliest that is medically allowed) for Tuesday, Oct. 23, but she cautioned me not to wait to go the doctor if any pattern of regular contractions starts to present itself. While Henry’s labor was very long, Ella’s labor was very, very short and I think we’re both worried that I may not make it to the hospital.
What’s especially concerning is that, with Ella, I was induced at 40 weeks and wasn’t dilated at all when we got to the hospital. I know the Pitocin sped up the labor a bit, but she was born less than two hours after they started the drip. Since, I’m already this far along, I worry that if regular contractions start on their own, I won’t have much warning before we have to go in. I’ve actually tried to visualize, what it would be like to deliver the baby at home … let’s just say that I’m praying and trusting that all will go as it is supposed to.
As of yesterday, at my final OB appointment, I was still 4cm/60%. This weekend we’re going to take it easy and enjoy some relaxing family time. Granny arrives on Monday and Mr. Owen Daniel Kruck will be here Tuesday!😉