Finally getting to bring Henry home was a pretty joyful experience. After 2 weeks of sitting in the NICU, I was able to snuggle, feed, play with, change him whenever I wanted/he needed. The first day I was terrified of doing something wrong. I stared at him most of the time afraid he would stop breathing or something. That night, I woke up every 30-45 min at any sound he made as he slept next to me.

However, despite my illogical fears, he continued to thrive and grow in this new environment. Friday, we went to our first well baby appointment with Dr. Kelly Komatz (she and Dr. Perzyck, his geneticist, share an office space, which is also in the same building as the cardio team and Wolfson’s Children’s rehab.) Henry gained about 9-10 oz. since leaving the NICU (weighed in at 7lb. 3 oz.) so my other fear that he wasn’t eating enough seemed to be unfounded. Since bringing him home, I try to stick to the every 3 hour feeding schedule, but sometimes he just isn’t that into it. There are times when he’ll suck down a whole bottle in 15 min. or stay latched on during breast feeding for 15-20 min. and there are other times when he tires out after 10 min. However, the fact that he’s consistently gaining weight makes me feel a little better. Dr. Komatz seemed completely happy with all of his progress, so I think I need to try to relax a little (wish me luck!)

Another thing I’ve learned … or am learning I guess is that I need to take better care of myself. I know, I know, everyone tells me that and I can hear the “I told you so’s” ringing in my ears, but like Henry … I am very stubborn and sometimes I just have to figure things out for myself.

Friday morning I had kind of a rough start. I woke up to feed Henry around 7am before I knew it, it was 8:30 (his doctor appointment was at 9 a.m. and at least a 25 minute drive away). I decided that coffee would be more important than breakfast, and with that in hand (as well as a car seat and diaper bag) we rushed out the door. The appointment ended at around 10:30, at which point Henry was overdue for a feeding. So, I found a quiet place by the river and sat down to feed him. Afterwards, as I was lugging his 20 something pound car seat to the car, I could start to feel the lack of nourishment hitting my body. I realized that it had been roughly 16 hours since I had eaten anything. Not a good plan when you’re breastfeeding.

Thankfully, my pastor’s wife was coming over with lunch, so I didn’t have to worry about fixing something when I got home. Towards the end of our visit, she told me that I looked tired and made me promise to lie down and take a nap. I begrudgingly agreed, and after one or two chores, grabbed henry and cuddled up in the recliner. About an hour later, Dan was home and I woke up feeling a lot better. After the sleepiness wore off I felt like I had a completely different outlook on life. It’s amazing what a hearty lunch and a one-hour nap can do. 

Anyhow, long story short, I am learning that I am no good to Henry when I am underfed and low on sleep. Those who know me know that I can be a little bit of a control freak and like to keep a clean house. I don’t know if that will change, but I’m learning to ask for more help and  learning that certain things really can wait. Also, that we bought a stroller for a reason. Baby stuff gets pretty darn heavy!

Henry really does deserve the best parents in the world, and the only way I can do my part is if I’m the best person I can be. So friends and family – you have my permission to tell me when I look tired, to tell me to give it a rest and when necessary … tie me to a chair and force me to take a nap:)

First smile caught on camera!